The following phrase stuck out to me from the new Tyler Perry movie “Why Did I Get Married Too?” official trailer - “You can only fight with a person when they are willing to get in the ring with you.”
How true is that? If your spouse is unwilling to fight through the difference in the relationship then you are only shadowboxing – fighting yourself.
We’ve become weak as a society. Divorce has become too easy. Dropping one dude just to pick up another is simple. He isn’t doing what you want him to do, well then leave him girl; there are too many fish in the sea. My parents have been married for 29 years and my grandparents 53 years. How were my parents able to dedicate nearly three decades and my grandparents half a century to each other? By FIGHTING! The first sign of a problem they didn’t bolt, they didn’t give up, they didn’t run. They fought. Goodness they didn’t give up after the hundredth sigh of a problem.
There are many definitions for the word fight but the kind of fighting I’m referring to is the same fighting you would do for your dreams, for your children, for that thing you are dedicated to. One definition given by Dictionary.com is as follows: fight - to contend in any manner; to strive vigorously. What a concept, we are willing to strive vigorously for objects: a bigger house, a better job, that red convertible; but many of us aren’t willing to strive vigorously for LOVE.
We all desire love of some kind, but we think it is going to be easy. Love IS easy. People are not. Fighting isn’t about constant arguing and bickering but about truly working to make your relationship work. Learning to work through conflict. Agreeing to disagree. Committing to love each other despite your spouse’s flaws. Currently I don’t have a romantic relationship to fight for but God willing when I do, I pray my spouse is in the ring with me.
I truly enjoyed reading your perspective on “Fighting”. I agree, that many people give up, and walk away without putting up a fight.
As you mentioned, If more people would strive for LOVE, like they strive in other areas, they could potentially build a successful,lasting,meaningful relationship.
I also agree,that Love IS easy. As is establishing relationships… It is People that complicate things, by acting unnatural,having agendas,and playing games.
Lastly, fighting for what you want (Love), for me is a simple concept. Though, typically what happens is that many people fall into SITUATIONS, as opposed to ESTABLISHING a meaningful relationship Therefore, that whole LOVE thing is never fully formulated.
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http://www.misterantagonist.com
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Go check it! RT @TammiLorraine Check out |NEW HIS&HERS BLOG|: “Are you Willing to Fight w/Me?” http://tinyurl.com/yjdyr79 {rt plz & thx}
This comment was originally posted on Twitter
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Thank you Tammi! I do truly agree with you. I felt the same way when I heard that line in the trailer.
The worse part about it is, it spoke to me, because that’s where I’m at with my husband. I’ve come to a point where I’ve been the only one fighting and he still hasn’t gotten in the ring, maybe only one foot in. He truly doesn’t get it and it’s very unfortunate.
What I can say is, we’ve been together for 10 years. I wouldn’t take any of it back. But after 3-7 of those years not having a consistent partner in the ring, I’m at the point of throwing in the towel.
But I’m not bitter and I wish the best for everyone. Everyone deserves a great fight, it’s what reminds us we’re alive and who we love.
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That is so true!!!! We fight for materialistic things, but cant fight for love! I want a marriage like your grandparents so I plan on fighting!
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I loved the whole idea of fighting and i think if any couple are willing to join the ring and fight for the common good of the relationship then nothing will be difficult to solve. if your partner is unwilling to join you in the ring then it will be an uphill task for the relationship to work but you gotta keep trying to encourage your partner to join the ring. and knowing that you have to fight in any relationship should encourage one to keep trying. I am in a long distance relationship currently and feel that whenever we have some issues i am the only one who gets into the ring… all constant encouragement for my partner to join me in the ring so far seems fruitless and i feel like i might be getting out of the ring cos i cant fight this alone… at times it is unfortunate but that is what it is. but i will keep being in the ring and inviting to the ring till i am quite sure that i have nothing more left.. thanks for the article
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