Written by: DeJuan
If you have a pint of your favorite ice cream in hand, and a spot on the couch as The Notebook (New Line Cinema/2004) is airing on the Lifetime Channel, chances are you’re a single female and still coping with the breakup over your ex-boyfriend. If you’re browsing through your photo albums and revisiting the memories you two share with Aaron Hall’s “I Miss You” on repeat, chances are you’re the ex-boyfriend I just mentioned. Enough coping, it’s time to move on! However, allow yourself time to heal as it’s one of the healthiest parts of the process. Being able to move forward with your life and meet new people is an important part in getting over an ex. With that being said, “How soon after one relationship has ended should you start dating again?”
This is not meant to be a “how-to-guide” on when it’s appropriate to begin dating other people but merely a few suggestions as to what may work for you. In research for this blog, I asked a few people their opinion on when was the right time to start dating after a relationship. Here are their responses:
April, 24, Lynchburg, VA: “Depending on how fast one is able to heal depends on how soon they could enter another relationship.”
Shanise, 28, Beverly Hills, CA: “I don’t think there is an actual ‘how soon’ but I do think there is a ‘too soon.’ I can’t give a definite 1 month, 6 months or a year answer because it varies per person. If it was a serious dating/exclusive relationship, I think you have to give yourself enough time to reflect and/or heal. You have to make sure you aren’t bringing baggage or hang-ups to the new situation. Or you’re not attempting to use the new person as an emotional filler for what you’re missing from the last situation – making them a rebound, if you will. It’s good to start dating when you have accepted and come to terms with the fact and reasons why the last relationship is over.”
Traveil, 25, Cerritos, CA: “You can’t put a length of months, days, hours, or minutes on something that is subjective like emotions. I think when you feel it’s healthy and safe then you should (start dating again); and that’s after the rebound date/sex/person.”
Kensie, 27, Kansas City, MO: “I think it depends on when that relationship was really over. Sometimes the love is gone way before the actual split.”
Jasmine, 23, Long Island, NY: “I mean all I can really say is that it depends on the situation at hand. If it wasn’t worth ya while and if both of you weren’t in it to win it, then I’d start dating soon after. But if it was something meaningful but just didn’t work out, then I’d have to wait a while.”
Truth of the matter is none of these people are wrong about their answers. I find it important that recently single individuals do their best to avoid a cookie cutter approach to entering the dating scene again. Meaning, taking the same approach all the time every time is not the way to go. In other words, every situation you come out of and enter is going to be different than any other one you’ve been in. Of course, there will be similarities in the people you are interested in, but again, everyone is different. So how soon after one relationship has ended should one start dating again? I’d say as soon as you have made a commitment to yourself first and foremost to not bring the emotional baggage you have with your ex into the dating situation. I understand it’s much easier said than done and it’s nothing that should be rushed, however, I find it healthier to conquer those emotions and put them to rest. It is after that I suggest you carefully begin to take baby steps with your new interest.
More than anything, understand before you can make anyone else happy you have to be happy yourself. If you still find yourself having a mental rendezvous of the times you two had, I’d suggest holding off on inviting someone new into your life. In contrast, if the thought of your ex does nothing for you whatsoever, now might be a good time to test the open waters and start fishing. Whatever your case may be, good luck – I wish you nothing but the best!
foursquareの方が良いよなぁ…遊びがあるもん。マピオンならランニング情報と連動とかしてくれないと。 『iPhoneからTwitterで「○○なう」――今いる場所をつぶやける「なうまぴおん」』 http://tinyurl.com/yfha3hq
This comment was originally posted on Twitter
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Excellent job Tammi… i agree with you whole heartedly, i’ve been down that rickety road more than a few times…, i know first hand that every situation should be handled individually… keep up the good work…i hope your input will help some poor unsuspecting soul…. thumbs up!!!
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“It Seems Like You’re Ready”: How soon after one relationship can one start dating again? http://bit.ly/digkd2
This comment was originally posted on Twitter
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“How soon after one relationship can one begin dating again?” Read it here. http://bit.ly/digkd2
This comment was originally posted on Twitter
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Loved the article. I wish there was a time set in stone as to when we should move on without us even noticing, but those emotional ties in whatever form they come will get you every time.
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@TheExecutress “How soon after one relationship can one begin dating again?” Read it here. http://bit.ly/digkd2
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Great article! There is no definate time for any person, it all depends on the situation. Some people just jump from one to the next without giving themselves time to heal; using the next person to mask the pain of the loss, causing rebound situations. Others sit, dwell and wallow in sorrow and cause themselves to be miserable and bitter. Both of which are unhealthy places to be. There needs to be a happy medium where you’re at a peaceful place with yourself.
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